Self-validation is the practice of accepting and valuing your emotions, thoughts, and experiences. It’s about recognizing your feelings as real and meaningful, rather than dismissing or ignoring them.
When you validate yourself, you build a stronger connection with your inner self, leading to greater emotional stability and self-acceptance.
Approximately 85% of people worldwide suffer from low self-esteem, impacting their mental health and daily lives. (Source: Gitnux)
Developing self-validation skills can counteract these negative effects, fostering inner confidence and self-acceptance.
This article explores practical steps to validate yourself using a Self Validation Worksheet, guiding you toward a more positive self-view.
Self Validation Worksheet
Use this worksheet to guide your self-validation practice. Fill it out whenever you need to process and validate your emotions.
1. Identify the Emotion
- What emotion(s) are you experiencing?
(Examples: anger, sadness, joy, frustration, anxiety)- Emotion: ___________________________
2. Describe the Trigger
- What situation or event caused this emotion?
(Be as specific as possible.)- Trigger: ___________________________
3. Observe Your Physical Sensations
- How does this emotion feel in your body?
(Examples: tight chest, lump in throat, butterflies in stomach)- Physical Sensations: ___________________________
4. Reflect on the Emotion’s Origin
- Does this emotion relate to a past experience or memory?
(Explore whether your past influences your current reaction.)- Connection to Past: ___________________________
5. Validate the Emotion
- Use one of the six levels of self-validation to validate your feelings.
(Examples: “It’s okay to feel this way because…” or “Feeling this emotion is normal given the situation.”)- Validation Statement: ___________________________
6. Identify Actions That Support Your Well-Being
- What can you do to support yourself in this moment?
(Examples: take a walk, journal, talk to a friend, meditate)- Action Plan: ___________________________
Example Entry
1. Emotion: Anxiety
2. Trigger: Upcoming work presentation
3. Physical Sensations: Rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms
4. Connection to Past: Reminds me of a time when I felt unprepared in school presentations
5. Validation Statement: “It’s okay to feel anxious because presenting in front of others can be challenging. This emotion shows I care about doing well.”
6. Action Plan: Practice the presentation twice, take deep breaths before presenting
Use this worksheet regularly to strengthen your self-validation skills and gain clarity about your emotions. Over time, this practice can help improve emotional resilience and self-acceptance.
For more clarity, go through the whole blog below.
The Six Levels of Self-Validation
Here are the six levels:
1. Being Present
- Focus on your current emotions without distraction.
- Pay attention to how you feel physically and mentally in the moment.
Example: If you feel anxious, notice your rapid heartbeat or shallow breathing instead of suppressing the sensation.
2. Accurate Reflection
- Observe your emotions without exaggeration or dismissal.
- Describe what you’re experiencing clearly and truthfully.
Tip: Practice phrases like, “I’m feeling frustrated because of today’s workload.”
3. Guessing
- When emotions feel unclear, make an educated guess about their cause.
- Acknowledge that sometimes feelings are complex and may not have a clear origin.
Example: “I feel off today. Maybe it’s because I didn’t sleep well or something is worrying me subconsciously.”
4. Validating by History
- Connect current emotions to past experiences that shaped them.
- Recognize patterns that influence how you react.
Tip: Reflect on how past challenges or achievements relate to your present emotions.
5. Normalizing
- Understand that emotions, even difficult ones, are universal.
- Remind yourself that feeling sad, angry, or scared is part of being human.
Example: “It’s okay to feel disappointed—it shows I care about the outcome.”
6. Radical Genuineness
- Accept yourself as you are, flaws and all.
- Be honest with your emotions without fear of judgment.
Tip: Speak kindly to yourself, as you would to a friend in need.
Practical Steps to Practice Self-Validation
Self-validation is a skill that improves with practice. These steps make it easier to incorporate into daily life:
Step 1: Acknowledging Emotions
- Identify your emotions as they arise.
- Label them specifically, such as “happy,” “sad,” “anxious,” or “excited.”
Step 2: Allowing Emotions
- Give yourself permission to feel emotions fully.
- Avoid suppressing or dismissing feelings, even uncomfortable ones.
Example: Instead of saying, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” try saying, “I feel this way, and that’s okay.”
Step 3: Understanding Emotions
- Reflect on the reasons behind your emotions.
- Ask yourself, “What is this feeling telling me?”
Tip: Journaling can help uncover patterns and insights about your emotional triggers.
Utilizing the Self Validation Worksheet
A Self Validation Worksheet is a structured tool that helps you practice this essential skill. It guides you in identifying, understanding, and accepting your emotions systematically.
How to Use the Worksheet:
- Write down the emotion you’re feeling.
- Describe the situation that triggered the emotion.
- Reflect on how this emotion connects to your values or past experiences.
- Identify ways to validate your feelings using the six levels of self-validation.
Example Exercise:
- Emotion: Anger.
- Trigger: Someone interrupted me during a meeting.
- Connection: This makes me feel undervalued, as it reminds me of past experiences where my opinions weren’t respected.
- Validation: “It’s okay to feel angry because being interrupted feels disrespectful.”
Benefits of Self-Validation
Practicing self-validation leads to:
- Improved Emotional Resilience: It reduces emotional overwhelm and helps you bounce back from challenges.
- Stronger Relationships: Understanding your emotions makes it easier to communicate and empathize with others.
- Greater Self-Acceptance: You become more comfortable with your flaws and strengths.
Example: When you validate your stress, you’re more likely to take constructive action, like setting boundaries or seeking support, rather than lashing out.
Common Challenges and How to Overcome Them
Self-validation can feel unnatural, especially if you’re used to ignoring your emotions. Here’s how to navigate common obstacles:
Challenge: Judging Yourself for Feeling a Certain Way
- Solution: Remind yourself that emotions are natural responses, not flaws.
Challenge: Difficulty Identifying Emotions
- Solution: Use emotion lists or charts to pinpoint what you’re feeling.
Challenge: Feeling Overwhelmed by Emotions
- Solution: Break the process into smaller steps, such as acknowledging just one emotion at a time.
Additional Resources
To deepen your understanding of self-validation:
- Explore self-validation worksheets available online.
- Read books on emotional regulation, such as Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff.
- Practice mindfulness techniques to stay present with your emotions.
Conclusion
Building self-validation skills takes time and patience, but it’s a powerful step toward self-acceptance and emotional well-being. Start small, practice regularly, and use tools like the Self Validation Worksheet to make meaningful progress in your journey.
